Rachelle mentioned to make the conflict clear, but that we don’t have to hint at the solution. Floyd Caldwell, also a farmer found Walsh standing in Elk Creek where he appealed to Caldwell saying, “Floyd I’m stobbed and stobbed bad.” Floyd rescued him but was later blamed by Walsh’s family for his murder. Hmmm. And oops, I was referring to Julie’s sum-up sentence on your book! Soooo, we now know your logline doesn’t need a critique! (The only exception is if a character is famous, like Albert Einstein or Elizabeth I). When Jacob accidentally kills a teen heart-throb, he must find a way to evade revenge-seeking fans while trying to stay alive due to an unconventional pact he makes. I love the revision – Randy. Comma splices are two independent clauses that are connected using a comma. Listed below are a few examples of complete sentences under the following categories: Declarative sentences are mere statements that relay information.

Oh, and what the quest is. Officer Wesley Emerson’s dream life shatters forcing him to return home and face his life choices and the woman he once left behind. Thank you for reposting this, Rachelle, very timely. To avoid confusion about what is CAUSING what vs. what FOLLOWS what in time, maybe start with, “After her estranged husband’s suicide …”. The “nightmare” is vague. Here’s mine in 3rd: A 36-year-old retraces her failed relationships since 16 to find closure and reach happiness with her husband and two sons. We’re talking ballpark here via Rachelle’s statement (“about 25 words”), so here goes: Edgy Atlanta Homicide Sergeant Malcolm Hobbs and his revered Detectives known as, ‘The X-Men’, must find a kidnapped victim who might prevent a mafia war between the Organizatsiya and La Cosa Nostra and a sleeper cell of al-Qaeda and Hamas terrorists from exploding a WMD? This is great! For Writers & Readers 04-18-2019 | The Author Chronicles, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun: My Bachelorette Party & How to Write a Great Story | In the Garden of Eva, Perfecting Your Pitch « Hugs and Chocolate, how many days does it take to get pregnant, How to Describe Your Book to a Publisher | Chad R. Allen, Thirsty Thursday Blog Roundup | Writing, Reading, and Life, Monday Start: Resources for the Week - A Place for the God-Hungry, Characters Need To Act–Even In Pitches | Rewrite, Reword, Rework, Top Picks Thursday 11-15-2012 « The Author Chronicles, Monday Advice from Editors and Agents: Pinch Your Pitches | Tangled Words, Possibly the Best Blogging Tip Ever | Rachelle Gardner, The One Sentence Summary | Vincent A. Alascia, Great Stuff on the Writers’ Blogs, November 8 and 9, 2012 « cochisewriters, https://facebook.com/australianfantasyadventures. This is my first time at this website and I didn’t think I had any idea what I was doing.

A baby’s arrival usually brings joy, but for (five year old) Braeden it means only trouble—especially when he tries to return it. THANKS, Christine!

I didn’t want to tell the whole story. Thanks for your feedback. Here’s another attempt: When a 16th century ghost seeks her help, Kendra JinJu MacGragor must time-travel to a Korea on the brink of war, risking her love and her life to prevent murder. (stronger than I didn’t do anything.) Yours is good, I just think it needs a punch, because it sounds like a good book. Okay, I know I kinda missed the party on this one, but hey, at least I’m finally catching up on emails! When demonic forces threaten their town, five unlikely companions must join forces to defeat them. I want to know why he’s on this quest and what will happen if he doesn’t succeed. David – I love it! 2. “As snow traps Mary on her farm for the winter, the wounded Revolutionary War soldier she finds on her doorstep teaches her about compromise, forgiveness and finally, love.” It’s still over by three words, but hopefully this helped. And they will encounter things that look to them a whole lot like dragons. Emma Johnson just came back from a summer vacation with her family. This is because it may be missing the main clause. I tend to pack too much in everything I write, and while I work hard to cut, chop and simplify, I do not wish to totally discard what I have come to see as using one of my weaknesses or faults as a tool in establishing my uniqueness as a writer. While I love details, yours need trimmed back a bit. I think you need to give the reader an idea why this particular move is traumatic enough to “end her childhood”. Aside from the right use of punctuation marks, these sentences have distinctive characteristics that set themselves apart from one another. It has kind of a quirky, Buffy The Vampire Slayer to me, which is a good thing. 6. Andthen begin to love. It’s perfect. Finding a cure to vampire-ness? Any suggestions are appreciated! But I really like your concept. Dependent markers, which are usually composed of subordinating conjunctions, appear at the beginning of the clause.

I thought it had to be under 25 words, but now I look back and see it should be “about” 25 words. Even without indicating the subject in the sentence itself, it is still implied. When she tries to prevent the next death from happening she is stopped by Zac, a boy with a secret of his own. Don’t know how many people are reading this now but here I go!

Thanks again. . What will he lose by helping this woman? It seems a bit contradictory. The second fiddle bit is a reference to the fact Sacha is a violinist…. The CEO is the antagonist, but I could easily revise this to include the protagonist, who is a young stock broker: “A young stock broker uncovers a CEO’s devious plan to bilk millions of dollars from thousands of investors. You’ve established the link between the two patients, but not the stake that the doctor faces. PS~ Wonder what Rachelle thinks of all these comments flying fast and free. An Israeli mother has one reason to go on living after her husband has been murdered by Palestinian terrorists: to protect her child from suffering the same fate. Your concept sounds good. Does that play into it vis-a-vis the other Traveler?



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